You, the star

You are,
The moment of shock
After watching the sky change colour.
The epitome of a wish
For every staggering moment.
Its a beautiful thing
To be watched so closely by the stars
A mix of terrible and beauty.
Comfort to chaos.
I believe in the stars.
After all, they brought you to me.
~
You know,
Sometimes I didn’t remember you by name
I remembered you by the scent of the wind,
The scent of home mixed with the feelings of fall
As it once again fades into winter.
From the smiles that you gave to me
Ones I had framed, anticipating to one day
Hang them on the walls
Next to your coat, dusted
With catastrophe and glamour
And just a touch of sorrow.
~
You left,
You left me alone long enough
For me to make it to the waters edge.
You asked me only once
Why I was standing in the rain
Looking down at the water
As the raindrops danced on the surface.
I knew somehow
They were waiting for the music to start.
So I never answered.
Though maybe I should have.
~
You see,
I never meant to, but I did.
I did everything I wasn’t supposed to.
I let go of the railing,
I let go of every passing second.
I fell into those star streaked waters.
I fell, and I let it envelope me in black and white; and uselessness.
I fell and I couldn’t climb back out
Of this hole
Though each time I thought back and I knew for certain
I have listened to your name being whispered to me.
On the lips of every soul I’ve ever kissed.
Giving reason and explanation
To every loss
~
I always wanted to be remembered
For something more than words
I wanted to be remembered
For the look of whimsy
When the last thread of my sanity
Finally snapped.
I wanted to be remembered as the cold that is left behind
Just as cold as the water lingering on your skin
As the wind rushes by.

~
I want to be remembered
as one who is watched by the stars
Gifted this terrible fate
But also given this beautiful story.
I believe in the stars
After all, they brought me back
To you.