Lollipops and Cigarettes

It's become that moment. That moment you never expected to happen. The moment in your life where things just fly by way too fast. Months and days turn into years and decades. Every day begins to be the same thing, another breath, another day, another meal and another car ride home. . Dreams lose meaning. Hopes fall away into broken pieces, and expectations get lost in the rest of the flow that life has stuck to. Far from you, but never too far away to make you miserable.

You don't even realize its happening till you go through each day like a dream and then one day you wake up stuck in a bush of vines ripping through to your mind's concept of reality.  You're tangled. You're stuck and there's no way out. Though, that's the only thing keeping you from sinking into the piles of memories on the forest floor.
At this point, you realize pain is the only thing keeping you in touch with reality and yourself. It's like that breathe. That first breath you take and you never know quite how you were able to take that breath. You never quite know how you could ever inhale that smoke. You feel like your lungs are that of a paper bag. Crumbling under the pressure of another stress... It's just a matter of time till the pain sinks in and you ache like nothing before. It's just a matter of time before the taste dulls and the stars black out right before you.

That's when the cold air is finally hitting your chest.  The taste finally embedded into your tongue and the smell of sadness and regret stains your coat. It's just another thing that can never be stopped.  It's almost as sickeningly sweet and terrifying as the way you kiss me when I go limp in your arms from another dizzy spell attempting to send me straight to the grave.

It's just lollipops and cigarettes.  Just another sweet bite followed by the sour decay of the person you used to be. The perfect, beautiful thing you used to be is slowly burning away. But you'll never know anything besides that now. You never quite know anything until you've tasted it and breathed it in.
Though in the end, it's just another inhale to forget the revenge and pain you so eagerly seek. Just another raspberry flavor to rid you of what despair truly tastes like.